Montage

A chronology: meeting between two strangers

I. A Movie
Soft, dark shades. The previous disgraces. A hard day.
I ran, and ran, and ran.
Collapsed into the open arms of friends, and was suddenly surrounded by warmth.
Your smiling face from across the room. Puppy piles and puppy love.

II. A Taste
Lingering thoughts. Endless, endless thoughts and words that could not tumble out fast enough.
The path to truth never did run smooth, more like. I was muffled by the excitement, and my reason washed away with the tide. Thoughtless. Maybe I would've seen...

III. A Simplification
Blue skies, bright eyes, and all the wonderful feelings of freedom. A day without a clock reminding us of the things we need to do. Sunset, seaside, songs that we sing. Simplified.

IV. A Complication
Robert Frost: 'The Road Not Taken'. I'm buffeted on all directions. You don't understand. Nonetheless, we hold on. Hand in hand, we will stand strong.

V. A Photograph
Lights, night, harbourside. Dreams that make us feel alive. Throw into careless abandon, just one more time.

VI. A Scene
Golden light. Green grass. Blue skies. Whispered words, hand in mine. This clipping we took from a drama and pasted into our lives. Twenty minutes should never end. In that moment, we needn't die. Gentleness.

VII. A Moment
Sigh, cry, blame the fates if we must. Nothing's going to change and it's all begun to rust. Days, nights, blend into a palette of grey. But that's okay. Out there is the promise of sometime and some day. Until then I have the strength of words and wishes from far far away. I'll be far far away, and you won't stay.

VIII. A Future
Unknown

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All that separates a stranger from an acquaintance is a greeting.
All that separates an acquaintance from a friend is one trusting moment.
All that separates a friend from family is shared blood.
All that separates a friend from a lover is a kiss.
All that separates you and I are time for all these things.

The weight of our loss drags behind us, while the memory clings on. We trawl through the atmosphere as we weep, as we walk. The black feather dips sadly to the clop of the horses hooves. The tar dipped carriage ever squeaking in the cold of the morning. The air catches our breath and freezes it, as if time itself halted for this moment. Give us a little more time to catch our pain and absorb it, instead of letting it wreck havoc in our lives.

The cold November morning was glazed with frost.
We lowered a black box into the ground, and then covered it.

The little irritations. These little tribulations.

Pick up a smile, and just leave it for awhile.
Sweep the shards underneath the carpet.
I can't see or speak clearly right now.
There's no point trying to clean up this mess of myself.
I'll keep my troubles in a box, and hide it in the shadowy corners.
And maybe one day, it'll heal itself.

But for now, smile on all those smiles.
Trying to keep up with each tick of the clock.
I'll fight hard to get back what I've lost.
Face each moment with the courage I've always known.
Stare down each hurdle, each challenge is my own.
And maybe one day it'll come back into my arms.

There comes a moment in each day, when I pause to think of you. Sometimes, it might be when I walk, as I recall a past conversation. The gentleness of your smile, the wrinkled on your hands as they once enclosed my minute fingers. Then, the blunt weight of your passing bludgeons me. I stand still. 

Sometimes, I would stare blankly at the red houses lining the street. Their facades a delicate shade of pink. Or the gingko swaying softly to itself in spring. All of these things bring you back to me, and remind me of my loss even more. 

They bring you flowers, they bring you fruit. But between ourselves, we know that there is nothing greater beneath that inscribed stone than the ruins of a mortal shell. Daily, I offer you corn, walnuts, and other sweets. You'd always liked those better anyway. And daily, I know you will smile back at me, though I am beyond your reach, and you mine. 

And I know, though you do not read my tongue, these sentiments and feelings will be universal, and the pictures I describe of my memories, speak endlessly to you. 

I do not wish you rest, though it may be filial to do so. I wish you gentle happiness, something you will perhaps appreciate a little more. It is at times like these, that I wished I believed in that eternal garden. But if anything, your existence gives me the faith I need. Surely, the gentle hand will pass over your eyes, and take you to a better place of no suffering. You are not lost. Of that, I am sure. 

Just as the giant oak falls in the wood, so your place is emptied in my life. But still, after the storm, there will stream in sunlight through the canopy, and things will grow. I will grow. 

Life and Death

Oh, Mother!
Life and death are bestowed in the same instance.
Just as the child breathes his first breath,
so does he breathe his last.
The first sickness eats away
until we are dust.
The young lover's words die upon his lips
just as they are uttered,
and the lilly upon his dear love's brow
withers as it blooms.

All our joys, our fears, ambitions, sympathies,
all men's feverish ardour brings,
what are they to us,
when we are taken cold into sleep?

So rises the sun with beams of gold, and across the sea,
golden beams fade and the same sun sets.
And yearly do the bluejays sing
and yearly do they, frozen, fall.

All that separates the vital child
with blushing cheeks full bloom,
from the wrinkled, white haired,
wind whittled crone...

The clocks, the chimes, the ticks and tocks
They echo through all the halls
Cheerful cuckoos cluck and mark
One more step towards the dark

A candle burning, a pin of light, we are
This flame will not last the night.
Yet still we cling to man's invention
Swept up as we are in time's flooding tide.

One Way

I met this boy when I was only barely eighteen
We met under the moon on a one way street.
And we can, we ran
In the only direction that we could see.

We saw each other again the very next day
Held the other's hand as we sped away
Feel the wind, the air
There was nothing that we needed to say.

We kissed for the very first time under the stars
It felt so warm being held tightly in your arms
So we stayed, so still
Till day broke and the sun rose over the hills.

Two years  passed and things just aren't the same
Every word annoys you and all the jokes sound lame
What can we do
When we've only got  bad tempers to blame

A day barely starts and we're already at it again
You're tearing apart just as I'm starting to mend
Why won't this stop
When there's no love just around the bend

I'll make a resolution to bring you around
Hush dear now please don't make a sound
Just hear my words
Bring back the love we'd found

Now we're here in the silence staring into space
No love no hate no regret etched on your face
Where have you gone
When did you leave me behind in this race

Some time later I realised that love is a cigarette
The spark of feeling that ignited when we met
It burns, with every breath
Ticking off our time into ash on the cement

Yet, we're so hooked
We look, for love
For cover, while we cry
Apart, sitting side by side
Just waiting for the other
To tell the first lie

Some times in winter I'd stand by the door
Wondering what all those fights were for
It seems so strange
We'd choose the tears, the screaming and the pain
All those times we left each other out in the rain
To wait
I'd go back, go back to say to you
The times we loved well were too scarce and too few