Mentality

Just as cracked mirrors are to self loathing,
I am to a spinning vortex.
Just leave, take few, leave more, and run.
But I tire easily, what now?
The idleness of transportation would drive me insane
Even while taking me fast and further away
Than I could ever manage on my own.

There's dependence, there's emotion,
Both not good for a healthy pride.
Supposedly a mortal sin by the book of God,
If such one exists amongst us miserable creatures.
Searching every nook and cranny of the earth for answers,
Best found within ourselves, if only we'd look hard enough.
If we'd only see we brought this on to ourselves.

And then there are those who deny their existance,
Throwing away their lives to the oceans
Not knowing that this, all this, is apart of the experience.
Some are better off than others, some are worse.
It's all a matter of balance, equality and harsh injustice.
But who are we to judge what is right and what is not?
Seen only as another grey pebble in the endlessly blue sea.

As the moon shines tonight, a small fraction of us will see it.
What good is light when we forget to appreciate
How it lights up our eyes, our road, our life, our surroundings,
And how we see everything so much clearer now.
Similarly, I needed a light for the mind's eye
One to point me in the right direction,
Show me a path to reconcile with dreams and aspirations.

Seeing the rain now, beating, drumming, streaming
It is hard to imagine that somewhere,
A dry parched earth is begging towards the clear sky.
Holding the red dirt in my fingers, they leak
Out from my cupped hand and streaming
Like red, red blood into the wind, diluted by the air
Until it seemed matter could simply disintergrate.

All the while, my mind's eye is still hazy,
Watering with precious drops, evaporated before they fall.
Relieving the parched winds of its emotionlessness somewhat,
There are only two things to do now, alas
Both are not within my power to control my heart.
Just as ice will melt under a blazing sun, inevitably
Time will freeze me in it's icy vaults.

Burn, Bleed, Die for my peace of mind,
It seemed like an absurd request, deservingly,
And quite understandable if you could see into me,
Into this spinning vortex of confusion and clarity
Mixed into a creamy grey, swirling, concoction.
Yet for all it's sinister thoughts and inflictions of pain,
It is quite sought after and precious when found.

Even when physical light engulfs my mind
And tightly closed eyelids cannot help but glow
The eloquent silence shouts out it's protests
Into my mind, Never out, It comes now.
With a wave, that flimsy, overpowering light
Is conquered by the dark flames of reassuring, solid mentality.
Like the dark wings of death claiming life.

Still, through all of this, your visage remains,
Burning it's image into the clear cold glass
Framing the windows into my soul, so they say.
And wave after wave, they cannot wash away this imprint
Until the very ocean tires from it's endeavours.
I'm left wondering why, why, why and how this can be
That a simple spot of white could blemish my perfectly dark sea.