Begin

Been just hanging around here and there, haunted by past ghosts. It's a small world isn't it.
Been waking up everyday and crossing it off, hoping tomorrow won't come too fast.
But we gotta go back sometime I guess.
How have I been? Well that's hard to say. I've been good and bad, but then that's life.
Bouts of depression, chocolate highs. Same ol' same ol'. Wishing for things I cannot obtain.
Not appreciating the things I have enough. But being overall, well.

Haven't seen my mates for awhile, what have I been doing all this time? Hanging. Chilling. Abit out of touch with reality really. No big get togethers, no groups. One on one, personal. Special, almost. I know better than that.

Procrastination. I kid myself when I say that it wouldn't happen. I knew it would. Sigh. There's still time, no there isn't. This lethargic feeling will not go away. I think I got fatter again. Oh well, the winter will no doubt wear it off enough if I watch myself.

Year 11, trust me when I say that it's still sinking in. Slowly, mucous in nature. Overload. What do I have to fear? Hidden away, I fear the beginning. The days that seep into nights until time is but a grey concoction of numbness. That is what I fear and abhor. Two more years. I promise then it will all be over, they say. It seems like an eternity.

What do I want to be? What is my motivation?