Falling

I can see her falling.

It's similar to watching a car speed off a high way into the sea.
Or maybe more like watching someone fall, slowly, ever so slowly, over the edge of a cliff.

In my minds eye, I reach out. I touch her.
She turns and smile, says it's okay, she knows what she's doing.

I want to grab her tightly, hold her in my arms.
She hugs me back, whispering comfort in my ear, assurance, telling me to trust her.
I trust her. I dont trust her head to overrule her heart.

I promised I would protect her. Not to anyone in particular, but myself.
She's so vulnerable, broken already. I promised.
And I lost the war before it even begun.

What else to do but let her go, with an unsettling feeling of dejavu and a sense of impending doom.
I cant keep her away. It would be wrong to.
But it would save so many tears, so much heartache, pain.
What can I do but release her, watching her turn away, with a smile.
I know she's scared herself, unsure.
She's still going anyway. Her heart tells her its the right thing to do.

I'm scared for her. I watch her walking, step by step towards the edge.
She turns around again, laughs, gestures at the rope tied around her waist.
I know the end of the rope isn't bound to anything that will keep her off the ground.
The ground somewhere far beneath us.

I see the sparkle of insecurity, wanting nothing more than for it to consume her.
Maybe then she'll step away from the edge. Back to safety.
She will tell me, what's the fun in that?

Her feet are in line with the nothingness beyond.
Her arms are stretched out wide, the wind tossing her hair.
Then, slowly, ever so slowly, she leans forward.

At first, it seemed like nothing would happen.
She leans, perfectly still in the air, leaning into the nothingness.
Then the equalibrium tips.
I watch as she flutters down.
The sound of her laugh still echoing in the air.
Then, even that is swept away by the wind.

I step away, and turn.
It's time I headed to the bottom of the cliff.
And hope to break her fall.