A fiery sunset had almost faded
Before dusk chose to take her walk
And with elegance she silently set
Stars on her train, dew in her hair
She slips quietly between the trees
Shadows lengthening, attempting to follow
Tracing her footsteps, anchored to their trunks
While her breath cools their labour
Most don't feel her passage
But most fall spellbound for her charm
As eyelids droop and movements slow
She sings a lullaby to the world
The very air stills, listening to her voice
A gentle sighing, a delicate humming
of a haunting tune, rustles of her hem
With a cricket symphony for accompaniment
She's singing her love while she strolls
Calling to all those sharing their hearts
Lulling them from their dwellings
To whisper secrets in their ears
And as inconspicuously as she arrives
Her passing creates no great stirring
Still, as if broken from a trance of sorts
The weary sleep, and the owl hoots his day
The breeze, too, stirs after her departure
Sweeping away the last brightness from the sky
Distribute the rest of the stars, and prepares
For night to be on his way
Sure enough, swiftly dusk departs
Her beau, night, dragging his silver shield
With howling wind on his heels and frigid breath
Comes swiflty after in pursuit
-----------------------------------------------------
From English
Let Imagination Possess A Pen, And What Results Will Be Beautiful
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Mirroring Situations
Given a choice between two things that will probably bring me much anguish and pain.
And yet, both can and have lifted me beyond merely content.
If I chose either, I'll forever wonder what would've occurred if I had followed the other path at the crossroads. And if I chose neither, I will forever dream about the possibilities, and curse my indecision. It's one of those cases where 1+1=0
The very nature of the decision irks me. The classic and cliched examples of old versus new, the excitement of possibility and the familiarity of routine. And I have an addiction to both. You see, one choice is full of uncertainties.
It is young in every aspect, time, prospect, difficult to predict for there had been almost no occurances, no data, nothing to analyze. Well, almost nothing. But it is also full of promised, fresh and crisp in the dawn of it's time, offering to me a blank slate just pleading to be engraved with laughter and memories. It's like spring, with its endless possibilities. A green shoot pushes its head from the damp loose earth, stretching towards the sunlight. It could be a rose, a daisy, a grand oak that will endre the decades that pass, or it could be a thorn bush, a weed, a creeper that will slowly strangle the life from it's host before withering away. We simply don't know.
The other choice, unexciting as it may be, is something I have nurtured for a relatively longer period of time. There is a nostalgic essence to it's memories, bittersweet and staled by longing. Time begins to lose it's meaning, colors wear and fade, sharp edges are smoothed by sun wind and rain. Emotion becomes a muted hum, unheard at times not because it's not there, but because it's constant presence could be ignored. Waiting, seeing that light in the tunnel, and feeling like it could never get closer, then adjusting to the dimness, instead, admires the beauty of the dark damp walls. But the light will fall, the water will flow out to form a glistening brook, and what I emerge into, rain, shine or storm, will only be revealed when all is ready.
Someone once told me that if you were undecided, you should list the procs and cons of each option. It was very good advice, besides for the fact, what was I supposed to do when the Pros and Con's balance each other completely? Simple stall the decision until more points of argument pop up? But something tells me that if it's one thing I do have, it's time.
"dont rush, you have time" it whispers, tugging gently at the back of my mind and holding down the words that want to flow from me.
The only other source of advice is from the "heart". It leads me to wonder, why am I using my head in the first place? It does nought but confuse me, and on the rare occasions it does make a decision, my heart tends to disagree. To deny the heart of its desires would ultimately end up with more turmoil for me, so a compromise is often the best solution. However, when I do still my mind to listen to my heart, it remains silent and passive. No preference either way.
So I'll just stall for time, for now.
And yet, both can and have lifted me beyond merely content.
If I chose either, I'll forever wonder what would've occurred if I had followed the other path at the crossroads. And if I chose neither, I will forever dream about the possibilities, and curse my indecision. It's one of those cases where 1+1=0
The very nature of the decision irks me. The classic and cliched examples of old versus new, the excitement of possibility and the familiarity of routine. And I have an addiction to both. You see, one choice is full of uncertainties.
It is young in every aspect, time, prospect, difficult to predict for there had been almost no occurances, no data, nothing to analyze. Well, almost nothing. But it is also full of promised, fresh and crisp in the dawn of it's time, offering to me a blank slate just pleading to be engraved with laughter and memories. It's like spring, with its endless possibilities. A green shoot pushes its head from the damp loose earth, stretching towards the sunlight. It could be a rose, a daisy, a grand oak that will endre the decades that pass, or it could be a thorn bush, a weed, a creeper that will slowly strangle the life from it's host before withering away. We simply don't know.
The other choice, unexciting as it may be, is something I have nurtured for a relatively longer period of time. There is a nostalgic essence to it's memories, bittersweet and staled by longing. Time begins to lose it's meaning, colors wear and fade, sharp edges are smoothed by sun wind and rain. Emotion becomes a muted hum, unheard at times not because it's not there, but because it's constant presence could be ignored. Waiting, seeing that light in the tunnel, and feeling like it could never get closer, then adjusting to the dimness, instead, admires the beauty of the dark damp walls. But the light will fall, the water will flow out to form a glistening brook, and what I emerge into, rain, shine or storm, will only be revealed when all is ready.
Someone once told me that if you were undecided, you should list the procs and cons of each option. It was very good advice, besides for the fact, what was I supposed to do when the Pros and Con's balance each other completely? Simple stall the decision until more points of argument pop up? But something tells me that if it's one thing I do have, it's time.
"dont rush, you have time" it whispers, tugging gently at the back of my mind and holding down the words that want to flow from me.
The only other source of advice is from the "heart". It leads me to wonder, why am I using my head in the first place? It does nought but confuse me, and on the rare occasions it does make a decision, my heart tends to disagree. To deny the heart of its desires would ultimately end up with more turmoil for me, so a compromise is often the best solution. However, when I do still my mind to listen to my heart, it remains silent and passive. No preference either way.
So I'll just stall for time, for now.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Raining Sunshine
Happy, so happy.
Enough to see through the thick, stormy clouds and feel the sun's warmth.
Enough to see each drop of rain as little clear hearts, falling throughout the city.
Enough to hear the wind as joyous laughs and gentle voices.
And even if it was dark, I'd still keep on going by the light of the stars.
And even if it was pouring, I'd rejoice in it's touch.
And even if it was cold, I'd be warm inside.
Yeah, they think I've gone crazy...
And perhaps I have,
But what's the matter with that?
It's all fun and games for now.
And this bubbly feeling that lasts me through winter and dark nights
I'll cherish it as something akin to hope, and it gives me strength
No need for a reason, no need for explanation.
I'm just.. happy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GEO DUEEEE
good luck guys =DD
most of us will probably need it
Tennis in the rain <3
and of course, getting beat up by everyone for fangirling too much LOL
NO, i'm not in love, maybe just a little obsessed ha ha
Looking forward to becs bday, LEGAL ^^
must remember not to wear WHITE
or get dunked and OWNED... maybe wouldn't be so baaaad ;D
Only kidding!!
seriously though, as u can see, I finally figured bothered to make my blog pretty
tho i admit i suck at html and i'm noob :L
Oh well i will learn... one day.
Been listening to "hero" on REPEAT, even dads humming it now
And also "gotta be somebody", dad cant hum that xD
Tenniss.... sorry guys i swear
when i try to tap the ball gently it goes BOOOOM into the back fence
and any other technique and it doesnt go anywhere or bounces off at weird angles... SIGH
No control
got lollies tho =DDDD
Until that moment i find the one i'll spend forever wiiiiitttthhhh <3333
i wont find romantic love ^^ but what i will find is AWESUM FRIENDS
so that good enough for me.
Love you guys <33 seriously. How lucky am i? HA ^^
John laughs at me after seeing my mother on the train with 4u maths hsc papers.
he knows i'm screwed HA HA xD
(he'll prolly end up doing them anyway?)
"i thought a shrimp was a lizard" <--- NOOOOOOOB
noobface and sadcase xDD it rhymes!!!
Diamond in the rough. =] you are.
* is high*
-walks off, well bounces off, into the SUNSET-
Enough to see through the thick, stormy clouds and feel the sun's warmth.
Enough to see each drop of rain as little clear hearts, falling throughout the city.
Enough to hear the wind as joyous laughs and gentle voices.
And even if it was dark, I'd still keep on going by the light of the stars.
And even if it was pouring, I'd rejoice in it's touch.
And even if it was cold, I'd be warm inside.
Yeah, they think I've gone crazy...
And perhaps I have,
But what's the matter with that?
It's all fun and games for now.
And this bubbly feeling that lasts me through winter and dark nights
I'll cherish it as something akin to hope, and it gives me strength
No need for a reason, no need for explanation.
I'm just.. happy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GEO DUEEEE
good luck guys =DD
most of us will probably need it
Tennis in the rain <3
and of course, getting beat up by everyone for fangirling too much LOL
NO, i'm not in love, maybe just a little obsessed ha ha
Looking forward to becs bday, LEGAL ^^
must remember not to wear WHITE
or get dunked and OWNED... maybe wouldn't be so baaaad ;D
Only kidding!!
seriously though, as u can see, I finally figured bothered to make my blog pretty
tho i admit i suck at html and i'm noob :L
Oh well i will learn... one day.
Been listening to "hero" on REPEAT, even dads humming it now
And also "gotta be somebody", dad cant hum that xD
Tenniss.... sorry guys i swear
when i try to tap the ball gently it goes BOOOOM into the back fence
and any other technique and it doesnt go anywhere or bounces off at weird angles... SIGH
No control
got lollies tho =DDDD
Until that moment i find the one i'll spend forever wiiiiitttthhhh <3333
i wont find romantic love ^^ but what i will find is AWESUM FRIENDS
so that good enough for me.
Love you guys <33 seriously. How lucky am i? HA ^^
John laughs at me after seeing my mother on the train with 4u maths hsc papers.
he knows i'm screwed HA HA xD
(he'll prolly end up doing them anyway?)
"i thought a shrimp was a lizard" <--- NOOOOOOOB
noobface and sadcase xDD it rhymes!!!
Diamond in the rough. =] you are.
* is high*
-walks off, well bounces off, into the SUNSET-
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Three Perspectives
I'm a cynic.
Especially in regards to christianity.
And I wonder how people can believe in a god in this world.
First of all, there's the scientific evidence that points away from everything said in the bible.
Evolution, astronomy, geology, archeology, paleantology and the list goes on.
The universe couldn't possibly have been 6000 years old.
The idea that everyone is doomed to an eternity in hell amuses me.
At least you're still there? What is there to feel, if there is no coporal body to feel with.
Perhaps if there is a soul, my definition of it would be different.
Gaia, I think a life stream, free of individualism would be more probable.
Animals have souls, so do plants and we'd be elitist if we think we're more imporant than any of them. And this soul, an essence, would return to the lifestream upon our death?
I dont know. But as I watch Rice '09, I can't help but feel awed by the unity of the crowd, and at the same time, realising how different everyone is.
Perhaps the purpose of religion is not the religion itself, but the unity and reconciliation it brings.
The ultimate Spirit. Power of the mass. Gathering of little powers to rock our world.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeaa i said i would write yesterday but i sorta never did...
Couldnt blame me, i woke up at 11 and had to go at three...
As you can prolly deduce, i went to RICE rally '09, and no i'm not christian, something else you prolly guessed already.
As far back as i can remember, i've toyed with the idea of there being a god or some sort of supernatural power governing the general running of the universe. If not, how could such order have arrived out of ultimate chaos? But no matter how much i thought about it, the more this existance shifts towards a law of physics, something deducable and less towards a being, whether it be god, goddess or a group of executives running the earth like a small factory.
There is definately something wrong with the world, but humanity is not the answer. We are merely insignificant beings shaped by accident and like the dinosaurs, we'll pay for our superiority through a short existance.
Perhaps Gaia, the god, is the earth. The earth shaped us to purge the world, so it can start over? Afterall, it was only after the dinosaurs, the ultimate lizards, were wiped out that mammals took over the world. We might play a similar role to that of dinosaurs, being the ultimate mammals shaped to wipe out the rest of the mammals so another genre of organisms can rise.
I don't know. And i dont think anyone ever will.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
It's a very interesting situation. I watched them stand close.
She's carefree, if not alittle naive, happy and the sky is never the limit for her.
And he's different.
She leans on his shoulder, with light in her eyes. The stage? Or a visualization of joy.
And he's happy there, just being near her radiant presence.
I smile. Laugh. Not a twinge of anything else but happiness.
Maybe this was what i've been told.
Wishing for nothing more but to move on from the past, feeling the euphoria of another.
Best of luck, what you share is something beautiful.
But you dont need me to tell you that do you?
No, you both know quite well, quite well...
And as for me, maybe something new is already beginning.
Only time will tell i guess.
And provide an answer for this rather... interesting situation.
Especially in regards to christianity.
And I wonder how people can believe in a god in this world.
First of all, there's the scientific evidence that points away from everything said in the bible.
Evolution, astronomy, geology, archeology, paleantology and the list goes on.
The universe couldn't possibly have been 6000 years old.
The idea that everyone is doomed to an eternity in hell amuses me.
At least you're still there? What is there to feel, if there is no coporal body to feel with.
Perhaps if there is a soul, my definition of it would be different.
Gaia, I think a life stream, free of individualism would be more probable.
Animals have souls, so do plants and we'd be elitist if we think we're more imporant than any of them. And this soul, an essence, would return to the lifestream upon our death?
I dont know. But as I watch Rice '09, I can't help but feel awed by the unity of the crowd, and at the same time, realising how different everyone is.
Perhaps the purpose of religion is not the religion itself, but the unity and reconciliation it brings.
The ultimate Spirit. Power of the mass. Gathering of little powers to rock our world.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeaa i said i would write yesterday but i sorta never did...
Couldnt blame me, i woke up at 11 and had to go at three...
As you can prolly deduce, i went to RICE rally '09, and no i'm not christian, something else you prolly guessed already.
As far back as i can remember, i've toyed with the idea of there being a god or some sort of supernatural power governing the general running of the universe. If not, how could such order have arrived out of ultimate chaos? But no matter how much i thought about it, the more this existance shifts towards a law of physics, something deducable and less towards a being, whether it be god, goddess or a group of executives running the earth like a small factory.
There is definately something wrong with the world, but humanity is not the answer. We are merely insignificant beings shaped by accident and like the dinosaurs, we'll pay for our superiority through a short existance.
Perhaps Gaia, the god, is the earth. The earth shaped us to purge the world, so it can start over? Afterall, it was only after the dinosaurs, the ultimate lizards, were wiped out that mammals took over the world. We might play a similar role to that of dinosaurs, being the ultimate mammals shaped to wipe out the rest of the mammals so another genre of organisms can rise.
I don't know. And i dont think anyone ever will.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
It's a very interesting situation. I watched them stand close.
She's carefree, if not alittle naive, happy and the sky is never the limit for her.
And he's different.
She leans on his shoulder, with light in her eyes. The stage? Or a visualization of joy.
And he's happy there, just being near her radiant presence.
I smile. Laugh. Not a twinge of anything else but happiness.
Maybe this was what i've been told.
Wishing for nothing more but to move on from the past, feeling the euphoria of another.
Best of luck, what you share is something beautiful.
But you dont need me to tell you that do you?
No, you both know quite well, quite well...
And as for me, maybe something new is already beginning.
Only time will tell i guess.
And provide an answer for this rather... interesting situation.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Memory Box
A painted box of card huddles in the corner,
Mosaics of bright colors leaping and swirling, into floral patterns,
And the lid poised daintly ajar on top of its dusty house,
Being not quite adequate shelter for it's contents,
Leaves a square of shadowed light imprinted within it's dusky interior.
It wasn't forgotten there, as such,
Rather placed there as to prevent its loss amongst the mountains
Of packages, bundles, parcels wrapped up anonomously in brown,
And polished off with white thread bows
Waiting to be opened, or shipped away outside to god knows wher
rawr i'm just too tired to bother. will continue it tomorrow i promise!
Mosaics of bright colors leaping and swirling, into floral patterns,
And the lid poised daintly ajar on top of its dusty house,
Being not quite adequate shelter for it's contents,
Leaves a square of shadowed light imprinted within it's dusky interior.
It wasn't forgotten there, as such,
Rather placed there as to prevent its loss amongst the mountains
Of packages, bundles, parcels wrapped up anonomously in brown,
And polished off with white thread bows
Waiting to be opened, or shipped away outside to god knows wher
rawr i'm just too tired to bother. will continue it tomorrow i promise!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thought of the Day
What to do, to not feel left behind?
But it's me who's skipping ahead on top of the warm brick wall.
Arm's out wide and hopes towards the dusk touched sky.
It's funny how you can be left behind so easily while being in front.
It's funny how I can feel lost when I'm surrounded by those who guide me.
Fly, it's not a desire to be free.
Just wanting to get away from it all this time.
Oh yeah I was with a crowd of people before, seemed like long ago.
They are all dear to me, casting the plaster for a perfect life,
Giving me the excuse to run, to hide, somewhere to seek out shelter.
Why the hell am I running away in the first place?
No, why the hell am I running away from something I don't wnat to part with.
Or why I feel like it's running away rather than just drifting apart from disinterest.
Laugh, cry, move along now, there's nothing to see here.
Brush it off for now, think about it later, laugh, make a joke, keep walking ahead.
Because when I'm ahead, only the back can be seen.
The part where there is no emotion, no will, no dreams.
Only the indication of my presence.
And sometimes, that's all I want to be seen.
Before I know it, they'd been swept along an invisible tide called time,
Before I know it, I'd been left behind, infront.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy birthday Elaine <3
Legal now ;D so old!
party on the train. WOOOOOOT
one day bec and joseph will gang up on me and kill me ^^;
& i really need to get awayyy from them before that happens
Maybe should stop teasing??
NAAH, its worth getting killed for LOL
I've tried EVERY cake in cake world now
*is proud* =DD
Went cloud gazing yesterday, and mowed crop circles in my lawn
Yeaaah, got no work done either.
Still, it's been ages since i went to the park and just .. stared. But c'mon it was after maths test
Oh yea, maths none calculator thing tomorrow. dang.
Should i revise stuff? If i do i know i needa revise coodinate geometry.
SIIIIIIGH just kill me now.
Actually no i love my life.
I've become very good at monologues since....
CUBA CUBA CUBA i reckon che guevara was pretty hot when he was young.
NSB water polo teams xDDD pasty
"you fantasize alot"<-- certainly, but not about the things you think i'm fantasizing about.
A weeeeeeek. then assessments OVER =D and i can sleep again.
Talking to ppl alot. It feels good, heart to heart, D&M wateva u wanna call it.
I feel loved.
Never know who likes who blah blah anymore in my group.
Even more clueless about the guys. These people i've known since year 7.
Kinda weird actually, that they should know about them more than i do.
But i guess it's cuz i never made te effort, nor was i concerned with it at all.
So out of it these days, preoccupied, lost in thought etc etc but about WHAT?
Really should'nt act all possessive. Cant help it? *shrug* only time will tell if this has all been in vain... in which case i will bash something/someone. (who?)
Will cease my incessant rambling now.
-Blood
But it's me who's skipping ahead on top of the warm brick wall.
Arm's out wide and hopes towards the dusk touched sky.
It's funny how you can be left behind so easily while being in front.
It's funny how I can feel lost when I'm surrounded by those who guide me.
Fly, it's not a desire to be free.
Just wanting to get away from it all this time.
Oh yeah I was with a crowd of people before, seemed like long ago.
They are all dear to me, casting the plaster for a perfect life,
Giving me the excuse to run, to hide, somewhere to seek out shelter.
Why the hell am I running away in the first place?
No, why the hell am I running away from something I don't wnat to part with.
Or why I feel like it's running away rather than just drifting apart from disinterest.
Laugh, cry, move along now, there's nothing to see here.
Brush it off for now, think about it later, laugh, make a joke, keep walking ahead.
Because when I'm ahead, only the back can be seen.
The part where there is no emotion, no will, no dreams.
Only the indication of my presence.
And sometimes, that's all I want to be seen.
Before I know it, they'd been swept along an invisible tide called time,
Before I know it, I'd been left behind, infront.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy birthday Elaine <3
Legal now ;D so old!
party on the train. WOOOOOOT
one day bec and joseph will gang up on me and kill me ^^;
& i really need to get awayyy from them before that happens
Maybe should stop teasing??
NAAH, its worth getting killed for LOL
I've tried EVERY cake in cake world now
*is proud* =DD
Went cloud gazing yesterday, and mowed crop circles in my lawn
Yeaaah, got no work done either.
Still, it's been ages since i went to the park and just .. stared. But c'mon it was after maths test
Oh yea, maths none calculator thing tomorrow. dang.
Should i revise stuff? If i do i know i needa revise coodinate geometry.
SIIIIIIGH just kill me now.
Actually no i love my life.
I've become very good at monologues since....
CUBA CUBA CUBA i reckon che guevara was pretty hot when he was young.
NSB water polo teams xDDD pasty
"you fantasize alot"<-- certainly, but not about the things you think i'm fantasizing about.
A weeeeeeek. then assessments OVER =D and i can sleep again.
Talking to ppl alot. It feels good, heart to heart, D&M wateva u wanna call it.
I feel loved.
Never know who likes who blah blah anymore in my group.
Even more clueless about the guys. These people i've known since year 7.
Kinda weird actually, that they should know about them more than i do.
But i guess it's cuz i never made te effort, nor was i concerned with it at all.
So out of it these days, preoccupied, lost in thought etc etc but about WHAT?
Really should'nt act all possessive. Cant help it? *shrug* only time will tell if this has all been in vain... in which case i will bash something/someone. (who?)
Will cease my incessant rambling now.
-Blood
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hypocrite
It's sorta funny really.
Unwanted attention making up for the lack of attention else where.
But did anyone ask if I enjoy this? NO
And around and around it goes in circles....
When the last man falls... who will hold up the weight of the world on their shoulders?
Went cloud gazing today. Too tired to try think up anything of literal value.
Sleep on a lawn in the park watching the electricity lines sway high above, cutting the blue sky into strips.
Haven't been outside in the park for ages, just sitting there.
Dont want to think about maths test, no maths test.
An unrootable sadness followed by relief and guilt.
I know it was the wrong thing to do, but hell, I had no other choice, or maybe it was the right thing to do, just approached in the wrong way.
We always want the things we cannot have?
Too many wise quotes in one blog for today.
Resillience, optimism, kindness, honour, but I'm a hypocrite aren't I?
Unwanted attention making up for the lack of attention else where.
But did anyone ask if I enjoy this? NO
And around and around it goes in circles....
When the last man falls... who will hold up the weight of the world on their shoulders?
Went cloud gazing today. Too tired to try think up anything of literal value.
Sleep on a lawn in the park watching the electricity lines sway high above, cutting the blue sky into strips.
Haven't been outside in the park for ages, just sitting there.
Dont want to think about maths test, no maths test.
An unrootable sadness followed by relief and guilt.
I know it was the wrong thing to do, but hell, I had no other choice, or maybe it was the right thing to do, just approached in the wrong way.
We always want the things we cannot have?
Too many wise quotes in one blog for today.
Resillience, optimism, kindness, honour, but I'm a hypocrite aren't I?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Heat Fever
Spring?
I dont know about you, but when spring or summer is around the corner, I can FEEL it
An unfathomable tug in the back of my brain and suddenly, everything seems brighter.
Night seem clearer
Stars shine brighter
The air is filled with the droswy buzz of insects and sunlight hangs hevily in the air, beating upon the weathered ground.
Everything just seems.. summer-y
That indescribable feeling of being drawn to anything drenched in water
The return of desires to eat fruit
To stay outside at night
To walk, run, play
To do anything but stay home and study.
And my mood just suddenly gets brighter.
Night get shorter, theres less desire to sleep.
The wonderful urge of going to the beach, the romantic wafts of air filling everyone's lungs
Midsummer Night
No wonder there is such mystique surrounding this one night
And there really is more love in the air in spring. Flowers~~~
Yea I'm alittle insane today. And I probably just made the biggest understatement of the year.
Actually, make it this century
CANT WAIT TILL SUMMER <3
for more reasons than one ;D
but for now, I'll have to wait and...
Welcome spring.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dont know about you, but when spring or summer is around the corner, I can FEEL it
An unfathomable tug in the back of my brain and suddenly, everything seems brighter.
Night seem clearer
Stars shine brighter
The air is filled with the droswy buzz of insects and sunlight hangs hevily in the air, beating upon the weathered ground.
Everything just seems.. summer-y
That indescribable feeling of being drawn to anything drenched in water
The return of desires to eat fruit
To stay outside at night
To walk, run, play
To do anything but stay home and study.
And my mood just suddenly gets brighter.
Night get shorter, theres less desire to sleep.
The wonderful urge of going to the beach, the romantic wafts of air filling everyone's lungs
Midsummer Night
No wonder there is such mystique surrounding this one night
And there really is more love in the air in spring. Flowers~~~
Yea I'm alittle insane today. And I probably just made the biggest understatement of the year.
Actually, make it this century
CANT WAIT TILL SUMMER <3
for more reasons than one ;D
but for now, I'll have to wait and...
Welcome spring.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, August 14, 2009
Autumn
Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
[[ remember, human, you are dust, and to dust you will return ]]
------------------------------------------------------------------
The light was already fading as she made her through the sparse undergrowth. Temperate forests were much easier to walk through than tropical ones. Her footsteps were marked by crackles as withered leaves crumbled underneath the ridged sole of her boots.
Crinkle, thud, crinkle, silence... Crinkle, thud, crinkle, silence...
And on it went, distinctively rythmic when contrasted to the chaotic nature of forest chatter.
A young wren, startled by the approaching presence, spread it's wings with a frenzied flutter and launched itself into the colorless sky. A dark shadow against a confusion of white, cobalt and orange, it soon disappeared into the red bleeding through gold-lined, fluffy clouds. Sunset.
Chilling breaths of air had begun to swirl around the sighing trees, taking with them a souvenior of death-touched leaves, some golden with age, some brown with neglect and some still maintaining tints of healthy green. A few leaves snagged on branches of the undergrowth. Some settled gently on a lower bough, welcomed by its fellows. The rest spiralled around her, falling, raining, adding a patchwork layer to the blanket on the ground. The earth was preparing for winter frost.
Crinkle, crunch, thud. Shattered glass, torn paper.
Shadows lengthening, the sky, having finally remembered it's place, deepened to a silkier navy littered with luminous stars.
Wind turned cold, biting, whistled and moaned as it danced amongst the sparse foliage left on the skeletal branches.
And there she stands beside a watery mirror of the sky, watching the ripples spread sluggishly across the seamless surface, warping it's perfect reflection. The water was cold. And then she follows the rock she threw.
When the lake freezes over, she'll be trapped, like the earth, in the grips of winter. For a brief season, she'll be shunned by the living, forgotten by the dead, trapped in the icy hands of time.
Dead or alive? No one knows.
Flames to ashes, Rocks to dust.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCRAM FINALS!!!!
they really weren't that good.
The robert thingy school should've won DDDD;
oh well. They had hotter guys too =D
D&M in the gym. wat's the meaning of life? what's a perfect society?
wow we should all be philosophers when we grow up.
How about a committee where we have various professionals who try to help people? A pact?
i'm sure we'll all be very good at what we do!
REVOLUTIONARY PARTY
who try to make the world more equal
Communism in the bible? new concept.
by now, anyone who wasn't there would probably be VERY confused. -he he-
Too much philosophy and history and Marx lol
Communism is the ultimate democracy... and communism will only work if we conquer our most basic self preservation instinct that says "I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVERYONE ELSE"
and this can only be cured by LOVE
so love= save the world from self destruction? or rather
love= save humans? can other organisms love?
we dont know. we're so elitest. Meh. too much thinking makes my head hurt
TIME FOR BED ^^
- blood
[[ remember, human, you are dust, and to dust you will return ]]
------------------------------------------------------------------
The light was already fading as she made her through the sparse undergrowth. Temperate forests were much easier to walk through than tropical ones. Her footsteps were marked by crackles as withered leaves crumbled underneath the ridged sole of her boots.
Crinkle, thud, crinkle, silence... Crinkle, thud, crinkle, silence...
And on it went, distinctively rythmic when contrasted to the chaotic nature of forest chatter.
A young wren, startled by the approaching presence, spread it's wings with a frenzied flutter and launched itself into the colorless sky. A dark shadow against a confusion of white, cobalt and orange, it soon disappeared into the red bleeding through gold-lined, fluffy clouds. Sunset.
Chilling breaths of air had begun to swirl around the sighing trees, taking with them a souvenior of death-touched leaves, some golden with age, some brown with neglect and some still maintaining tints of healthy green. A few leaves snagged on branches of the undergrowth. Some settled gently on a lower bough, welcomed by its fellows. The rest spiralled around her, falling, raining, adding a patchwork layer to the blanket on the ground. The earth was preparing for winter frost.
Crinkle, crunch, thud. Shattered glass, torn paper.
Shadows lengthening, the sky, having finally remembered it's place, deepened to a silkier navy littered with luminous stars.
Wind turned cold, biting, whistled and moaned as it danced amongst the sparse foliage left on the skeletal branches.
And there she stands beside a watery mirror of the sky, watching the ripples spread sluggishly across the seamless surface, warping it's perfect reflection. The water was cold. And then she follows the rock she threw.
When the lake freezes over, she'll be trapped, like the earth, in the grips of winter. For a brief season, she'll be shunned by the living, forgotten by the dead, trapped in the icy hands of time.
Dead or alive? No one knows.
Flames to ashes, Rocks to dust.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCRAM FINALS!!!!
they really weren't that good.
The robert thingy school should've won DDDD;
oh well. They had hotter guys too =D
D&M in the gym. wat's the meaning of life? what's a perfect society?
wow we should all be philosophers when we grow up.
How about a committee where we have various professionals who try to help people? A pact?
i'm sure we'll all be very good at what we do!
REVOLUTIONARY PARTY
who try to make the world more equal
Communism in the bible? new concept.
by now, anyone who wasn't there would probably be VERY confused. -he he-
Too much philosophy and history and Marx lol
Communism is the ultimate democracy... and communism will only work if we conquer our most basic self preservation instinct that says "I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVERYONE ELSE"
and this can only be cured by LOVE
so love= save the world from self destruction? or rather
love= save humans? can other organisms love?
we dont know. we're so elitest. Meh. too much thinking makes my head hurt
TIME FOR BED ^^
- blood
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Love Song Mixmash
Like any other high school related drama
Once upon a time seemed abit too old to use
So a couple of months ago will start us off instead
(I really have no idea how long ago this was anyway)
It started off like any other fairytale
There was a boy, there was a girl
And there would ultimately be love in the air
As expected in any good story
She was your typical girl
And she did ballet
What more can I say?
And when they met at that party
When he pushed his way through the crowd to say hello
She just knew nothing would ever be quite the same
And he was her Romeo, she was blowing bubbles
That said hey, I miss you quite terrible so
He was everything to her soul
While we here were all standing back
Saying to her, slow down girl, slow
Please look around before you decide to go
Now did she listen?
I dont know.
He was just your average guy
Hung out with his mates
What do I need to say?
And he didn't know what to do
Didn't know what to say
Just knew that she was his ray of sunshine
He talked to her like
She was the only one around,
he leaned on her
The only other choice seemed to be falling down
And he said he used to walk a thin line
Between what is and what could be
But now she's pulled him out of the dark
Blessed his soul, set him free.
She says he will be loved
He says she will be loved
He will make her feel beautiful
And she'll wait for him in the pouring rain.
But both their love was blind
He couldn't really see it
She couldn't really hear it
Their love was young and sweet,
but it still couldn't pull them together.
So we came up and said
If you need to fall apart,
We'll help you mend your broken heart
If you need to crash, know you're not alone
You shook your head and turned away
We said please dont fight us
Our hands are holding you
Lift you up and fly into the night
----------------------------------------------------
Cookies to the first person who can name all of the song references xD
Once upon a time seemed abit too old to use
So a couple of months ago will start us off instead
(I really have no idea how long ago this was anyway)
It started off like any other fairytale
There was a boy, there was a girl
And there would ultimately be love in the air
As expected in any good story
She was your typical girl
And she did ballet
What more can I say?
And when they met at that party
When he pushed his way through the crowd to say hello
She just knew nothing would ever be quite the same
And he was her Romeo, she was blowing bubbles
That said hey, I miss you quite terrible so
He was everything to her soul
While we here were all standing back
Saying to her, slow down girl, slow
Please look around before you decide to go
Now did she listen?
I dont know.
He was just your average guy
Hung out with his mates
What do I need to say?
And he didn't know what to do
Didn't know what to say
Just knew that she was his ray of sunshine
He talked to her like
She was the only one around,
he leaned on her
The only other choice seemed to be falling down
And he said he used to walk a thin line
Between what is and what could be
But now she's pulled him out of the dark
Blessed his soul, set him free.
She says he will be loved
He says she will be loved
He will make her feel beautiful
And she'll wait for him in the pouring rain.
But both their love was blind
He couldn't really see it
She couldn't really hear it
Their love was young and sweet,
but it still couldn't pull them together.
So we came up and said
If you need to fall apart,
We'll help you mend your broken heart
If you need to crash, know you're not alone
You shook your head and turned away
We said please dont fight us
Our hands are holding you
Lift you up and fly into the night
----------------------------------------------------
Cookies to the first person who can name all of the song references xD
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Written Revolution
People have been saying that my blog is too... deep.
so yea, casual blog ftw?
still, i know like no html shizz so i cant make it all pretty anyway
make up for it by posting pretty words like crevasse (sp?) and tern xD
i'm crazy, so sue me ==
kinda ironic really (ironic is such a yale word), that the trials on right now amuse me so much.
you walk into the school in the morning and KAZAAAAM
there's actually visible groups of seniors for once, all lined up in a row infront of the hall, pacing, talking to themselves, etc.
haven't seen anyone break down into tears yet hmm... or maybe i'm just usually not around to see the end of the exams.
oh yea, better train company as a result too lol. everyone's screaming their heads off.
And even i know a thing or two about IPT now >>' thanks guys.
commerce is so bludge... wish we had Passlow back D; he's so awesum =]
I am Cuba
When a man is born, he is given a choice
to live with the element that subjugates him
or to follow a star
and rise to lead his people
if he choses to follow the star
his life would be hard and bitter
paved by his blood
watered by his tears
but if he should die
a thousand people will fill his place
and when there are no more men
even the stones will rise in revolution
so yea, casual blog ftw?
still, i know like no html shizz so i cant make it all pretty anyway
make up for it by posting pretty words like crevasse (sp?) and tern xD
i'm crazy, so sue me ==
kinda ironic really (ironic is such a yale word), that the trials on right now amuse me so much.
you walk into the school in the morning and KAZAAAAM
there's actually visible groups of seniors for once, all lined up in a row infront of the hall, pacing, talking to themselves, etc.
haven't seen anyone break down into tears yet hmm... or maybe i'm just usually not around to see the end of the exams.
oh yea, better train company as a result too lol. everyone's screaming their heads off.
And even i know a thing or two about IPT now >>' thanks guys.
commerce is so bludge... wish we had Passlow back D; he's so awesum =]
I am Cuba
When a man is born, he is given a choice
to live with the element that subjugates him
or to follow a star
and rise to lead his people
if he choses to follow the star
his life would be hard and bitter
paved by his blood
watered by his tears
but if he should die
a thousand people will fill his place
and when there are no more men
even the stones will rise in revolution
Monday, August 10, 2009
Letter
Dear Ronny, (the boy who used to live next door)
It's Bel, remember? The girl who used to throw things at your window.
How have you been? Haven't talked to you in awhile.
But then, it's not like they had msn ready back then right?
Heard you'd gotten into a good school, and I've heard you did well for yourself.
It's all I really get to know these days, the things I hear from others down the grapevine.
Seen your name pop up now and then, in conversations here and there.
The pictures on your facebook look nothing like the face I used to know.
Will you look at that! Shy, quiet little Ronny's gotten himself quite a pretty girlfriend.
I always knew you had it in you, someone was bound to see the kind, caring person there.
I bet she's nice too, so you better not break her heart, or there would be more than one girl you'd have to deal with.
I take it you haven't been back home much either.
Silly me, I still think of it as home, but home is somewhere different now isn't it?
Still, just incase you wanted to know... they finally knocked down the haunted house at No. 16.
Not that it was ever haunted or anything, but we had fun pretending didn't we?
The Tree's gone too, apparently someone had complained that it damaged their house.
And one morning, an army of giant machine came and sawed it down.
I was watching as it's limbs trembled from the vibrations, leaves flying, sawdust spraying, bark torn, white woody interior exposed to the light of the world.
And then it was gone, a sappy stump all that's left of our Tree.
A few days later, even that was gone.
The hole they made had been refilled, and now a camellia flowers there, blood red, almost like a headstone.
I don't think we'll ever find the box of coins we buried under canopy of that tree, in that niche hugging the trunk.
Little park's been replaced with a maze of metal playing equipment and the soft squishy stuff they replaced sand with for the floor.
The Fruit Garden's gone now, with its little old Ms Morgan, hopefully to a better place.
In fact, not much is the same anymore, and I doubt we would recognize the place.
Oh yeah, the vet with its howls and ghostly calls still stands, but the rotten, gaptoothed fence had been replaced with fresh green planks though.
It's not much, but it's all I've been able to see too.
Hardly pass there.
As for myself, I've been fine as always, and enjoying life to the fullest now.
But that doesnt mean I dont miss before.
Sometimes I'd have a moment to myself to just think, and listen.
The sunlight streaming through my window would bring me back to the days when we used to see each other every afternoon to share stories, play soccer or go dig something or other up.
Hey, but we're still friends no? That's enough of a reminder for me.
Hoping everything is well and good
Your faithful friend,
Bella
--------------------------------------------------------
Note
I actually havent seen this guy since second grade, nor have I spoken to him.
Life goes on.
-Blood
It's Bel, remember? The girl who used to throw things at your window.
How have you been? Haven't talked to you in awhile.
But then, it's not like they had msn ready back then right?
Heard you'd gotten into a good school, and I've heard you did well for yourself.
It's all I really get to know these days, the things I hear from others down the grapevine.
Seen your name pop up now and then, in conversations here and there.
The pictures on your facebook look nothing like the face I used to know.
Will you look at that! Shy, quiet little Ronny's gotten himself quite a pretty girlfriend.
I always knew you had it in you, someone was bound to see the kind, caring person there.
I bet she's nice too, so you better not break her heart, or there would be more than one girl you'd have to deal with.
I take it you haven't been back home much either.
Silly me, I still think of it as home, but home is somewhere different now isn't it?
Still, just incase you wanted to know... they finally knocked down the haunted house at No. 16.
Not that it was ever haunted or anything, but we had fun pretending didn't we?
The Tree's gone too, apparently someone had complained that it damaged their house.
And one morning, an army of giant machine came and sawed it down.
I was watching as it's limbs trembled from the vibrations, leaves flying, sawdust spraying, bark torn, white woody interior exposed to the light of the world.
And then it was gone, a sappy stump all that's left of our Tree.
A few days later, even that was gone.
The hole they made had been refilled, and now a camellia flowers there, blood red, almost like a headstone.
I don't think we'll ever find the box of coins we buried under canopy of that tree, in that niche hugging the trunk.
Little park's been replaced with a maze of metal playing equipment and the soft squishy stuff they replaced sand with for the floor.
The Fruit Garden's gone now, with its little old Ms Morgan, hopefully to a better place.
In fact, not much is the same anymore, and I doubt we would recognize the place.
Oh yeah, the vet with its howls and ghostly calls still stands, but the rotten, gaptoothed fence had been replaced with fresh green planks though.
It's not much, but it's all I've been able to see too.
Hardly pass there.
As for myself, I've been fine as always, and enjoying life to the fullest now.
But that doesnt mean I dont miss before.
Sometimes I'd have a moment to myself to just think, and listen.
The sunlight streaming through my window would bring me back to the days when we used to see each other every afternoon to share stories, play soccer or go dig something or other up.
Hey, but we're still friends no? That's enough of a reminder for me.
Hoping everything is well and good
Your faithful friend,
Bella
--------------------------------------------------------
Note
I actually havent seen this guy since second grade, nor have I spoken to him.
Life goes on.
-Blood
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Dream Magic
I had a dream.
With silence as a prelude, silence as an ending.
There was only darkness at first, after the silence.
I had to strain to hear anything at all.
In fact, the precious few sounds I could hear throughout the whole dream were muted, pierced only by the contrasting sharpness of wind chimes.
Those wind chimes sounded familiar, their reverberations echoing through me.
Tinggggg...
A single, pure note sang, neither melancholy nor joyous.
A ripple formed in the bland wall in front of my eyes, glowing pale yellow.
It expanded as the concentric circles stretched and grew, soon extending to my feet and above my head.
And as the ripples grew, so did the light.
It started as a pale yellow glimmer, and then, as if sunlight breaking through clouds, penetrated all of that dimension.
My immaterial feeling grew.
I could not say if I walked forward or not.
No footfall was felt, neither the irregular bobbing often accompanied with walking.
But there was forward motion, a smooth gliding measured by the regular beat of chiming bells that would cease when I no longer willed myself forwards.
Spread out before me was a river of light.
Standing on its banks of black formless matter, I watched as the specks of light flow swiftly downriver. There were faster currents of them here and there, threading a way between the luminous crowd. The river stretched as far as the eye could see, into the nothingness. Twisting, turning, up, down, doubling back on itself, it formed a haphazard squiggle, so dense you could not make out where it ended, or if it ended at all.
There was an overwhelming urge to touch.
I moved forwards, stretching my hand out to cup the fast flowing particles. As the tip of my finger grazed where the surface would be, a cascade of flowing notes were heard from those invisible chimes, and the most incredible event occurred. The waters shrank from my touch, indenting the warped surface of the river, forming a crater. I withdrew my hands slowly, disappointed, but the primal urge had not been abated.
So I moved into the river.
Watching, as the particles flowed around me at first, a dark concentration in the middle of a glowing river. The particles, swerving to avoid me, made the river billow out where I was, a bulging current caressing my little bubble. I laughed in delight, the sound lost to my own ears.And the light ate at the darkness.I hadn't noticed as my bubble shrank, too enthralled in magic of the moment. The chimes rang again as the first specks flew across my skin, higher in pitch this time. Was it just me or did they sound little more urgent as well? It mattered not. What mattered right now was that I could feel them.
Like how water erodes stone.
They felt... curiously cold. Crystalline light, drawing chilling, glowing trails from my right side to the left. And in this way, I began to glow too. The current had no push, no strength. The touch of the particles was soft, lightly grazing skin. The chimes, for the first time, formed a melody instead of short, sharp bursts of music. It was a sad tune, full of regret, longing, and loss, opposite to what I felt at that moment, opposite to the curiosity, delight and wonder.
How even stone becomes weary.
I did notice the first particle making its way through me. It was a curious experience, watching as the pinpoint of a light gently settles on my skin, then, as if passing through a thick layer of liquid, slowly push its way across my abdomen and out the other side. There was no pain, only a chilling trail where it had passed through. Perhaps, if I had panicked then, I would've been able to make my way out of that river. But I didn’t, only watched as more and more of them flowed through me.
And will eventually crumble to dust.
The glow I emitted became ever stronger, ever so slowly. They too began to condense into their own pinpricks. I lost control of my movement, began to sway with the current, rooted at the bottom of this curious river. And then my grasp on the river bed was lost, and I, still not feeling the push of the current, was swept along with it. Afloat in that river of light, I slowly disintegrated, drowned in an immaterial pool, scattered in essence.
The river fades slowly in my minds eye, its burning brightness still leaving a negative trail against the blackness of my closed eye lids.
There was silence, broken only by the occasional rustle of the trees outside and the responding, lonely echo of my wind chimes.
With silence as a prelude, silence as an ending.
There was only darkness at first, after the silence.
I had to strain to hear anything at all.
In fact, the precious few sounds I could hear throughout the whole dream were muted, pierced only by the contrasting sharpness of wind chimes.
Those wind chimes sounded familiar, their reverberations echoing through me.
Tinggggg...
A single, pure note sang, neither melancholy nor joyous.
A ripple formed in the bland wall in front of my eyes, glowing pale yellow.
It expanded as the concentric circles stretched and grew, soon extending to my feet and above my head.
And as the ripples grew, so did the light.
It started as a pale yellow glimmer, and then, as if sunlight breaking through clouds, penetrated all of that dimension.
My immaterial feeling grew.
I could not say if I walked forward or not.
No footfall was felt, neither the irregular bobbing often accompanied with walking.
But there was forward motion, a smooth gliding measured by the regular beat of chiming bells that would cease when I no longer willed myself forwards.
Spread out before me was a river of light.
Standing on its banks of black formless matter, I watched as the specks of light flow swiftly downriver. There were faster currents of them here and there, threading a way between the luminous crowd. The river stretched as far as the eye could see, into the nothingness. Twisting, turning, up, down, doubling back on itself, it formed a haphazard squiggle, so dense you could not make out where it ended, or if it ended at all.
There was an overwhelming urge to touch.
I moved forwards, stretching my hand out to cup the fast flowing particles. As the tip of my finger grazed where the surface would be, a cascade of flowing notes were heard from those invisible chimes, and the most incredible event occurred. The waters shrank from my touch, indenting the warped surface of the river, forming a crater. I withdrew my hands slowly, disappointed, but the primal urge had not been abated.
So I moved into the river.
Watching, as the particles flowed around me at first, a dark concentration in the middle of a glowing river. The particles, swerving to avoid me, made the river billow out where I was, a bulging current caressing my little bubble. I laughed in delight, the sound lost to my own ears.And the light ate at the darkness.I hadn't noticed as my bubble shrank, too enthralled in magic of the moment. The chimes rang again as the first specks flew across my skin, higher in pitch this time. Was it just me or did they sound little more urgent as well? It mattered not. What mattered right now was that I could feel them.
Like how water erodes stone.
They felt... curiously cold. Crystalline light, drawing chilling, glowing trails from my right side to the left. And in this way, I began to glow too. The current had no push, no strength. The touch of the particles was soft, lightly grazing skin. The chimes, for the first time, formed a melody instead of short, sharp bursts of music. It was a sad tune, full of regret, longing, and loss, opposite to what I felt at that moment, opposite to the curiosity, delight and wonder.
How even stone becomes weary.
I did notice the first particle making its way through me. It was a curious experience, watching as the pinpoint of a light gently settles on my skin, then, as if passing through a thick layer of liquid, slowly push its way across my abdomen and out the other side. There was no pain, only a chilling trail where it had passed through. Perhaps, if I had panicked then, I would've been able to make my way out of that river. But I didn’t, only watched as more and more of them flowed through me.
And will eventually crumble to dust.
The glow I emitted became ever stronger, ever so slowly. They too began to condense into their own pinpricks. I lost control of my movement, began to sway with the current, rooted at the bottom of this curious river. And then my grasp on the river bed was lost, and I, still not feeling the push of the current, was swept along with it. Afloat in that river of light, I slowly disintegrated, drowned in an immaterial pool, scattered in essence.
The river fades slowly in my minds eye, its burning brightness still leaving a negative trail against the blackness of my closed eye lids.
There was silence, broken only by the occasional rustle of the trees outside and the responding, lonely echo of my wind chimes.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Collection of Warm Things
I went to the CBD yesterday.
It was the first time I had gone, thinking I'd be alone for at least awhile.
I had asked my friend if he'd be there, with a distant reply of "maybe".
It's funny.
I really hadn't expected him to be there.
It had been my miscalculation.
I, thinking that time was in abundance, had planned to kill time.
It was he who had turned up at the right time, waiting for me.
---------------------------------------------------
I was standing there, looking for him.
It was to no avail, as I had been found by his friends first.
I had been startled by him, who had approached from behind and covered my eyes with his hands.
It reminded me, ironically, of an incident with Vincent at one of my favourite parks.
I cringed at the memory, sadness suddenly bubbling up from inside.
It had been a disaster from the very start and I only realised then,
I had effectively gotten makeup smudged all over his hands and around my eyes.
---------------------------------------------------
It was a wish I once made.
I had wished for a dream date, where the guy would come from behind and do the same thing.
It had been of no consequence, the little wish.
I had been part of a truth or dare thing, except in my wish no make up had been smeared.
It hadn't been that particular friend meeting me either.
I hadn't been with a bunch of people.
It was meant to be gentle and sweet, memorable, lovely, not in a crowded square.
I hoped maybe, one day, dejavu would come visit me with a different companion.
-----------------------------------------------------
He's constantly thinking about her.
I can see his mind spinning his disco ball,
A mosaic of memories, pictures, film roles playing on repeat.
The only thing shining in the hidden spaces of his heart.
He's constantly talking about her.
The way he would walk with me, silent,
And suddenly perk up at a miniscule detail reminding him,
Something equally small about her
Breaking the silence I thought was companionable
To voice those snapshots of the past.
While I stand there in bittersweet silence, smiling along with him
Unsure what else there was to do.
It was sweet, seeing that smile
And the way he would stare, unseeing
The wistful expression, the relaxed posture, warmth
Knowing he'd been happy.
It was bitter too, I wasn't blind.
There probably wasn't a trace of me,
Anywhere in the only memories that could warm him
Make him want the past to return.
Seeing his face light up with a reserved joy
I had felt like an intruder
Witnessing something private, too personal, too tender and sentimental
To share with just anyone.
Unintentionally, on his part,
He probably wasn't aware at all
That he was doing the same for me, like the past did for him
Making eternally warm memories of better days.
It was the first time I had gone, thinking I'd be alone for at least awhile.
I had asked my friend if he'd be there, with a distant reply of "maybe".
It's funny.
I really hadn't expected him to be there.
It had been my miscalculation.
I, thinking that time was in abundance, had planned to kill time.
It was he who had turned up at the right time, waiting for me.
---------------------------------------------------
I was standing there, looking for him.
It was to no avail, as I had been found by his friends first.
I had been startled by him, who had approached from behind and covered my eyes with his hands.
It reminded me, ironically, of an incident with Vincent at one of my favourite parks.
I cringed at the memory, sadness suddenly bubbling up from inside.
It had been a disaster from the very start and I only realised then,
I had effectively gotten makeup smudged all over his hands and around my eyes.
---------------------------------------------------
It was a wish I once made.
I had wished for a dream date, where the guy would come from behind and do the same thing.
It had been of no consequence, the little wish.
I had been part of a truth or dare thing, except in my wish no make up had been smeared.
It hadn't been that particular friend meeting me either.
I hadn't been with a bunch of people.
It was meant to be gentle and sweet, memorable, lovely, not in a crowded square.
I hoped maybe, one day, dejavu would come visit me with a different companion.
-----------------------------------------------------
He's constantly thinking about her.
I can see his mind spinning his disco ball,
A mosaic of memories, pictures, film roles playing on repeat.
The only thing shining in the hidden spaces of his heart.
He's constantly talking about her.
The way he would walk with me, silent,
And suddenly perk up at a miniscule detail reminding him,
Something equally small about her
Breaking the silence I thought was companionable
To voice those snapshots of the past.
While I stand there in bittersweet silence, smiling along with him
Unsure what else there was to do.
It was sweet, seeing that smile
And the way he would stare, unseeing
The wistful expression, the relaxed posture, warmth
Knowing he'd been happy.
It was bitter too, I wasn't blind.
There probably wasn't a trace of me,
Anywhere in the only memories that could warm him
Make him want the past to return.
Seeing his face light up with a reserved joy
I had felt like an intruder
Witnessing something private, too personal, too tender and sentimental
To share with just anyone.
Unintentionally, on his part,
He probably wasn't aware at all
That he was doing the same for me, like the past did for him
Making eternally warm memories of better days.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
A Thank You Note?
Simple.
The difference between someone special and someone ordinary.
It's as simple as silence.
As simple as a walk.
An open book.
A smile.
Though the connotations behind each of these things are hardly ever simple.
Laughter.
There are many kinds.
It expresses joy, comfort, humor.
And it covers up embarrasment, eases awkward situations.
It's not about where we are going.
Or what we need to do.
The simple fact that we are together is good enough for me.
And no matter how ordinary our surroundings, I will always see something beautiful.
Something that I wouldn't have wanted to share with anyone else.
A tiny detail I would've otherwise missed.
I'd feel safe, knowing that a special person would never think I was insane.
Or worse, simply not understand at all.
A lonely, encroaching silence turns into a companionable one.
A smile lights up the mood in greeting.
A walk to a destination becomes one undertaken for its own sake.
Luckily, we don't need music or questions to keep the conversation going.
It really doesn't matter what we say either.
Most things are said without words anyway.
Besides, I understand what your feelings before you uttered a single word.
Though the words themselves may confuse me sometimes.
Agree to disagree.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies.
It's compromise that moves us along [yeaaah]
Knowing you can talk to me anytime.
But I'm tangenting from the topic again.
Though like our conversations, there usually isn't a topic at all.
Anything from politics to gardening methods go well.
Like anything else, it doesn't matter what we talk about.
A touch of reassurance, to let me know you are still there.
I think recognitions has moved beyond just mutual moral support.
But reassurance comes in many forms, and this is just one.
Simple words are also equally appreciated.
Listening to my admiration of a band you've never heard of before.
Smiling along, joining the excitement in hopes of catching it.
Most of the time you don't, but never mind that.
Convinced that I'd do the same on other occasions, roles inverted.
Since tender words are often mispronounced.
And more often still, misunderstood for something it's not.
I've written here, things I find beautiful in its simplicity.
How, above all, simplicity can make life so beautiful.
So here's a list of some of the things that makes up someone special.
And here's to you, to all the ones who make everyday shine.
The difference between someone special and someone ordinary.
It's as simple as silence.
As simple as a walk.
An open book.
A smile.
Though the connotations behind each of these things are hardly ever simple.
Laughter.
There are many kinds.
It expresses joy, comfort, humor.
And it covers up embarrasment, eases awkward situations.
It's not about where we are going.
Or what we need to do.
The simple fact that we are together is good enough for me.
And no matter how ordinary our surroundings, I will always see something beautiful.
Something that I wouldn't have wanted to share with anyone else.
A tiny detail I would've otherwise missed.
I'd feel safe, knowing that a special person would never think I was insane.
Or worse, simply not understand at all.
A lonely, encroaching silence turns into a companionable one.
A smile lights up the mood in greeting.
A walk to a destination becomes one undertaken for its own sake.
Luckily, we don't need music or questions to keep the conversation going.
It really doesn't matter what we say either.
Most things are said without words anyway.
Besides, I understand what your feelings before you uttered a single word.
Though the words themselves may confuse me sometimes.
Agree to disagree.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies.
It's compromise that moves us along [yeaaah]
Knowing you can talk to me anytime.
But I'm tangenting from the topic again.
Though like our conversations, there usually isn't a topic at all.
Anything from politics to gardening methods go well.
Like anything else, it doesn't matter what we talk about.
A touch of reassurance, to let me know you are still there.
I think recognitions has moved beyond just mutual moral support.
But reassurance comes in many forms, and this is just one.
Simple words are also equally appreciated.
Listening to my admiration of a band you've never heard of before.
Smiling along, joining the excitement in hopes of catching it.
Most of the time you don't, but never mind that.
Convinced that I'd do the same on other occasions, roles inverted.
Since tender words are often mispronounced.
And more often still, misunderstood for something it's not.
I've written here, things I find beautiful in its simplicity.
How, above all, simplicity can make life so beautiful.
So here's a list of some of the things that makes up someone special.
And here's to you, to all the ones who make everyday shine.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Square One
"Patience is a bitter tree that bears sweet fruit"
Hypothesize that this was true. Technically then, the longer I wait this out, the sweeter the ending. Meanwhile, I wait for this hypothesized "right moment", writhing in the agony and frustration.
Then there are those who tell me, you might as well, you know.
"Short and Sweet" they chant at me. And I wonder if I should just end it once for all. Think of and suffer consequences later.
Either way, life was never to be the same again. But it changes every so often anyway? And these looped thoughts just led me on an endless rampage through my head.
Eventually, the curiosity to know out weighed the incessant beeping of "ignorance is bliss". Afterall, what's the worse that could happen?
Okay, a lot of things could happen as a result. Eternal isolation, bar-ing, intense awkwardness for the rest of my life, well until they disappear anyway.
But was it worth the risk, rather than just watching helplessly as opportunity after opportunity slips through my fingers. Or to stand there waiting patiently for the fruit to fall while the tree had already walked away to bloom somewhere else.
I really couldn't tell if it was worth it or not. What I had anticipated was the responce I'd get. So I asked myself, what's the point of enduring this if I'm waiting for a fruit that will probably never fall?
So imagine my surprise when I opted for the Short and Sweet, but got a flower instead. The hope that maybe the long and sweet would've been better, but there was still the chance if I chose to wait it out.
The irony of it all! So now I got some of both. Short and sweet anticipating the long and sweet. Still writhing, but this time in anticipation and impatience. Hope, but nothing solid to eat. No definate yes or unswaying denial either.
So where has all this thought and decision making led me in the end? I dont know. But I get a tingly feeling that somehow, I had ended back where I started.
Hypothesize that this was true. Technically then, the longer I wait this out, the sweeter the ending. Meanwhile, I wait for this hypothesized "right moment", writhing in the agony and frustration.
Then there are those who tell me, you might as well, you know.
"Short and Sweet" they chant at me. And I wonder if I should just end it once for all. Think of and suffer consequences later.
Either way, life was never to be the same again. But it changes every so often anyway? And these looped thoughts just led me on an endless rampage through my head.
Eventually, the curiosity to know out weighed the incessant beeping of "ignorance is bliss". Afterall, what's the worse that could happen?
Okay, a lot of things could happen as a result. Eternal isolation, bar-ing, intense awkwardness for the rest of my life, well until they disappear anyway.
But was it worth the risk, rather than just watching helplessly as opportunity after opportunity slips through my fingers. Or to stand there waiting patiently for the fruit to fall while the tree had already walked away to bloom somewhere else.
I really couldn't tell if it was worth it or not. What I had anticipated was the responce I'd get. So I asked myself, what's the point of enduring this if I'm waiting for a fruit that will probably never fall?
So imagine my surprise when I opted for the Short and Sweet, but got a flower instead. The hope that maybe the long and sweet would've been better, but there was still the chance if I chose to wait it out.
The irony of it all! So now I got some of both. Short and sweet anticipating the long and sweet. Still writhing, but this time in anticipation and impatience. Hope, but nothing solid to eat. No definate yes or unswaying denial either.
So where has all this thought and decision making led me in the end? I dont know. But I get a tingly feeling that somehow, I had ended back where I started.
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