Square One

"Patience is a bitter tree that bears sweet fruit"

Hypothesize that this was true. Technically then, the longer I wait this out, the sweeter the ending. Meanwhile, I wait for this hypothesized "right moment", writhing in the agony and frustration.

Then there are those who tell me, you might as well, you know.

"Short and Sweet" they chant at me. And I wonder if I should just end it once for all. Think of and suffer consequences later.

Either way, life was never to be the same again. But it changes every so often anyway? And these looped thoughts just led me on an endless rampage through my head.

Eventually, the curiosity to know out weighed the incessant beeping of "ignorance is bliss". Afterall, what's the worse that could happen?

Okay, a lot of things could happen as a result. Eternal isolation, bar-ing, intense awkwardness for the rest of my life, well until they disappear anyway.

But was it worth the risk, rather than just watching helplessly as opportunity after opportunity slips through my fingers. Or to stand there waiting patiently for the fruit to fall while the tree had already walked away to bloom somewhere else.

I really couldn't tell if it was worth it or not. What I had anticipated was the responce I'd get. So I asked myself, what's the point of enduring this if I'm waiting for a fruit that will probably never fall?

So imagine my surprise when I opted for the Short and Sweet, but got a flower instead. The hope that maybe the long and sweet would've been better, but there was still the chance if I chose to wait it out.

The irony of it all! So now I got some of both. Short and sweet anticipating the long and sweet. Still writhing, but this time in anticipation and impatience. Hope, but nothing solid to eat. No definate yes or unswaying denial either.

So where has all this thought and decision making led me in the end? I dont know. But I get a tingly feeling that somehow, I had ended back where I started.